WEEK 1 - ATKINS INDUCTION, PT 1
180 lbs
DAY 7
Saturday, 5.29.2011
Last night I dreamt I ate a sandwich.
Also, last night I realized I'm not much of a chef. I just don't follow directions when it comes to cooking, which is odd to me, because I will follow a video game walkthrough to the letter. My first mistake was not noting the amount of each ingredient I needed when writing my grocery list; "some cream cheese" and "some gelatin" resulted in only enough for one recipe. So I chose to make the easiest: cream cheese clouds. They are not even remotely of the instructed "fluffy" consistency; I sort of just mixed the ingredients, rather than alter their initial state, but they are yummy.
I figured I was on a bit of a roll and decided to make whipped cream for the hell of it. I discovered I was an evil genius when I noticed that the last of the old container of whipping cream that I mixed in with the new container of whipping cream, was in fact half and half.
And what does 1 part half and half, 2 parts whipping cream, and not nearly enough Splenda make?
A. foam
B. pudding
C. a hot mess
D. whipped cream
I'll give you a hint, it’s not D. If you guessed A, B, or C, you're correct, and they occurred in that order. The foam built high and airy on top of a pudding-like nonsense. I decided to scrape the foam off the top and fold it into the "pudding," thus making a hot mess. It's cooling in the fridge, and will serve no other purpose.
Last night I dreamt I ate a sandwich.
Also, last night I realized I'm not much of a chef. I just don't follow directions when it comes to cooking, which is odd to me, because I will follow a video game walkthrough to the letter. My first mistake was not noting the amount of each ingredient I needed when writing my grocery list; "some cream cheese" and "some gelatin" resulted in only enough for one recipe. So I chose to make the easiest: cream cheese clouds. They are not even remotely of the instructed "fluffy" consistency; I sort of just mixed the ingredients, rather than alter their initial state, but they are yummy.
I figured I was on a bit of a roll and decided to make whipped cream for the hell of it. I discovered I was an evil genius when I noticed that the last of the old container of whipping cream that I mixed in with the new container of whipping cream, was in fact half and half.
And what does 1 part half and half, 2 parts whipping cream, and not nearly enough Splenda make?
A. foam
B. pudding
C. a hot mess
D. whipped cream
I'll give you a hint, it’s not D. If you guessed A, B, or C, you're correct, and they occurred in that order. The foam built high and airy on top of a pudding-like nonsense. I decided to scrape the foam off the top and fold it into the "pudding," thus making a hot mess. It's cooling in the fridge, and will serve no other purpose.
BRUNCH: onion and cheese omelet, with a side of bacon
DINNER: burgers with mushroom and swiss cheese; arugula salad with tomatoes and avocado
DESSERT: cream cheese clouds
DINNER: burgers with mushroom and swiss cheese; arugula salad with tomatoes and avocado
DESSERT: cream cheese clouds
DAY 6
Saturday, 5.28.2011
OK, here’s something you probably don’t want to know, but it is a common part of induction - constipation. On my 5th day (yesterday), I finally pooed. I felt like catdog - lots of things going in; nothing coming out. I need not elaborate.
My decadent sweet tooth must be appeased, and I will be making some of Linda's low carb dessert recipes. There is so much one can do with cream cheese, heavy cream and Splenda. Splenda, by the way, is somewhat suspect. It's some odd molecular re-assemblage of sugar that reminds me of Veridian Dynamics' attempt at lab-created meat.
OK, here’s something you probably don’t want to know, but it is a common part of induction - constipation. On my 5th day (yesterday), I finally pooed. I felt like catdog - lots of things going in; nothing coming out. I need not elaborate.
My decadent sweet tooth must be appeased, and I will be making some of Linda's low carb dessert recipes. There is so much one can do with cream cheese, heavy cream and Splenda. Splenda, by the way, is somewhat suspect. It's some odd molecular re-assemblage of sugar that reminds me of Veridian Dynamics' attempt at lab-created meat.
Even if Splenda tastes like despair, at least its decadent despair. The "workout" today was also decadent - a long walk with my husband at The Art Institute of Chicago.
BRUNCH: omelet with cheese, mushroom, and onion
DINNER: sashimi fish and cucumber slices
DESSERT: cream cheese clouds
MIDNIGHT SNACK: chicken salad
DINNER: sashimi fish and cucumber slices
DESSERT: cream cheese clouds
MIDNIGHT SNACK: chicken salad
DAY 5
Friday, 5.27.2011
There are different suggested solutions to all of the world's problems - John Lennon suggested "all you need is love;" my high school buddy suggested "violence and duct tape." I'm going to go out on a limb and propose my solution to all of the world's problems - "just put a pat of butter on it."
There are different suggested solutions to all of the world's problems - John Lennon suggested "all you need is love;" my high school buddy suggested "violence and duct tape." I'm going to go out on a limb and propose my solution to all of the world's problems - "just put a pat of butter on it."
BREAKFAST: crustless quiche
LUNCH: tuna salad
LUNCH, part 2: more tuna salad
DINNER: shrimp & scallop kabobs with onion & green peppers, and fried cheese *Opa!*
DESSERT: bacon (decadence)
LUNCH: tuna salad
LUNCH, part 2: more tuna salad
DINNER: shrimp & scallop kabobs with onion & green peppers, and fried cheese *Opa!*
DESSERT: bacon (decadence)
DAY 4
Thursday, 5.26.2011
The reaction I've received from family and friends about starting this diet has varied: Atkins works; Atkins doesn't work; diets don't work; I'm proud of you. I think it's up to me whether or not this will work, and I'm committed to not cheating during these two weeks of induction. Atkins may feel a bit extreme at the moment, but at least I'm not pulling a Tami from Real World 2...
The reaction I've received from family and friends about starting this diet has varied: Atkins works; Atkins doesn't work; diets don't work; I'm proud of you. I think it's up to me whether or not this will work, and I'm committed to not cheating during these two weeks of induction. Atkins may feel a bit extreme at the moment, but at least I'm not pulling a Tami from Real World 2...
...incidentally, I'm less concerned with her decadent choice of wiring her jaw shut than I am with her giving her job a no notice quit (which I think was a nonprofit organization; no decadence points, girl).
So the NUMBERS thing is not sorted out yet; I had to spend more money ($40), because I ran out of food. I wonder if my portion sizes are off too, but to be fair, the food is also for my husband.
So the NUMBERS thing is not sorted out yet; I had to spend more money ($40), because I ran out of food. I wonder if my portion sizes are off too, but to be fair, the food is also for my husband.
The quiche turned out well (albeit a little dark on the edges; I didn't use foil). Today's tuna salad was masterful, I'm just sayin. I added finely chopped red onions, which really made a difference. Here are all the ingredients: tuna, mayo, cheddar cheese, celery, red onion, and fresh dill. Yum.
We skipped working out tonight, and went to a bar to watch the Bulls game (decadence). I didn't drink; I did well with ordering, and I have leftovers.
BREAKFAST: crustless quiche
LUNCH: tuna salad
DINNER: Roasted chicken, asparagus, salad greens with cucumbers and oil & vinegar
LUNCH: tuna salad
DINNER: Roasted chicken, asparagus, salad greens with cucumbers and oil & vinegar
DAY 3
Wednesday, 5.25.2011
So, I did a not so smart thing today. I weighed myself - I lost none point none pounds. I have to just tell myself, its only been a few days, and I should not feed into the lurking suspicions that Atkins is actually an elaborate sorority prank. The fact that my lumberjack breakfast of 4 bacon strips and 3 eggs cooked in bacon grease AND butter, is going to help me lose fat, is so counterintuitive, that an "I gotcha" at the end of the two weeks of induction seems more likely than a loss of (up to) 15 lbs.
My sister reminded me today that I need to drink 8 glasses of water a day. I told her I was all over it, because all I seem to do is drink water, but on further reflection, I think I might be a couple glasses short. I will be monitoring the water intake more closely now. Thanks sis!
I am going to try out a crustless quiche recipe for dinner tonight, but because I do not want to spend any more money this week, it will not include the veggies. We'll just have cucumber slices on the side.
Oh, and if you're wondering if "we" refers to just me and the cat, you're 2/3 correct; it also includes my husband (of 5 years this August). One of his great passions in life is running (especially ultra marathons, his longest is 50 miles), and he is helping me get into shape, starting with a rough 20 minute work out last night - crunches, pushups, lunges, curls, planks, side planks, squats. I am a bit sore today, especially in the stomach and legs.
Sorority prank or no, I'm sticking with it (and not weighing myself until the week is up).
So, I did a not so smart thing today. I weighed myself - I lost none point none pounds. I have to just tell myself, its only been a few days, and I should not feed into the lurking suspicions that Atkins is actually an elaborate sorority prank. The fact that my lumberjack breakfast of 4 bacon strips and 3 eggs cooked in bacon grease AND butter, is going to help me lose fat, is so counterintuitive, that an "I gotcha" at the end of the two weeks of induction seems more likely than a loss of (up to) 15 lbs.
My sister reminded me today that I need to drink 8 glasses of water a day. I told her I was all over it, because all I seem to do is drink water, but on further reflection, I think I might be a couple glasses short. I will be monitoring the water intake more closely now. Thanks sis!
I am going to try out a crustless quiche recipe for dinner tonight, but because I do not want to spend any more money this week, it will not include the veggies. We'll just have cucumber slices on the side.
Oh, and if you're wondering if "we" refers to just me and the cat, you're 2/3 correct; it also includes my husband (of 5 years this August). One of his great passions in life is running (especially ultra marathons, his longest is 50 miles), and he is helping me get into shape, starting with a rough 20 minute work out last night - crunches, pushups, lunges, curls, planks, side planks, squats. I am a bit sore today, especially in the stomach and legs.
Sorority prank or no, I'm sticking with it (and not weighing myself until the week is up).
BREAKFAST: eggs and bacon
LUNCH: tuna salad
DINNER: Slice of crustless quiche and a 1/2 of a sliced avocado on the side
LUNCH: tuna salad
DINNER: Slice of crustless quiche and a 1/2 of a sliced avocado on the side
DAY 2
Tuesday, 5.24.2011
Breakfast was bacon, eggs cooked in bacon grease, topped with cheese. I ate this on a cafeteria platter while watching Dali's "Un Chien Andalou." I think my cat was actually whispering "decadence" throughout.
I plan to spend no more money this week, so hopefully I did well with grocery shopping yesterday. I'm drinking water constantly, but still feel parched. This experience reminds me of a South Park episode, in which a group of characters resorted to cannibalism only minutes after being trapped - alls I wants is sugar, and it's only been a day and a half.
... a few hours later...
OK, I spent some money. But I swear on my love of nutty bars that it's not my fault. There is something wrong with the plumbing in my apartment today, and I had to buy some bottles of water because I am thirstier than a seal in a dessert (*ahem* desert, oh, and not to be confused with navy desert seals, who know how to manage their water intake and have no need for Atkins). So, that's $3 more on the NUMBERS chart.
The thirst is apparently common during ketosis. Here's a forum entitled "so thirsty." Amen, sister.
http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.com/forums/main-atkins-diet-forum/95865-so-thirsty.html
Breakfast was bacon, eggs cooked in bacon grease, topped with cheese. I ate this on a cafeteria platter while watching Dali's "Un Chien Andalou." I think my cat was actually whispering "decadence" throughout.
I plan to spend no more money this week, so hopefully I did well with grocery shopping yesterday. I'm drinking water constantly, but still feel parched. This experience reminds me of a South Park episode, in which a group of characters resorted to cannibalism only minutes after being trapped - alls I wants is sugar, and it's only been a day and a half.
... a few hours later...
OK, I spent some money. But I swear on my love of nutty bars that it's not my fault. There is something wrong with the plumbing in my apartment today, and I had to buy some bottles of water because I am thirstier than a seal in a dessert (*ahem* desert, oh, and not to be confused with navy desert seals, who know how to manage their water intake and have no need for Atkins). So, that's $3 more on the NUMBERS chart.
The thirst is apparently common during ketosis. Here's a forum entitled "so thirsty." Amen, sister.
http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.com/forums/main-atkins-diet-forum/95865-so-thirsty.html
BREAKFAST: eggs & bacon
LUNCH: tuna salad
DINNER: steak with mushrooms and avocado, wrapped with iceberg lettuce and mayo
DESSERT: a green olive and a shot glass of heavy cream (yeah, I did it)
LUNCH: tuna salad
DINNER: steak with mushrooms and avocado, wrapped with iceberg lettuce and mayo
DESSERT: a green olive and a shot glass of heavy cream (yeah, I did it)
DAY 1
Monday, 5.23.2011
The decadence begins.
Breakfast was a pork shank eaten with my bare hands. Lunch was mayo-heavy tuna salad assembled while listening to a mix of Slick Rick, Biz Markie, and Milli Vanilli.
I have two weeks of Atkins "induction," which cuts out carbs and sugars (my favorite past times). There is a lot of meat, fat, and cheese in my future, but first, let's see what we're working with:
current weight: 180 lbs . goal weight: 140 lbs . height: 5'4" . age: 31 . gender: female . today's purchases: $98?! ($32, vitamins & $66, food)
I want to monitor cost as much as I do weight (which is currently the heaviest I have ever been). Check out NUMBERS to see this progression or possible "regression" into a shame spiral of weight gain and debt.
The decadence begins.
Breakfast was a pork shank eaten with my bare hands. Lunch was mayo-heavy tuna salad assembled while listening to a mix of Slick Rick, Biz Markie, and Milli Vanilli.
I have two weeks of Atkins "induction," which cuts out carbs and sugars (my favorite past times). There is a lot of meat, fat, and cheese in my future, but first, let's see what we're working with:
current weight: 180 lbs . goal weight: 140 lbs . height: 5'4" . age: 31 . gender: female . today's purchases: $98?! ($32, vitamins & $66, food)
I want to monitor cost as much as I do weight (which is currently the heaviest I have ever been). Check out NUMBERS to see this progression or possible "regression" into a shame spiral of weight gain and debt.
BREAKFAST: pork shank
LUNCH: tuna salad
DINNER: hamburger patties with mushrooms and swiss cheese
LUNCH: tuna salad
DINNER: hamburger patties with mushrooms and swiss cheese